Humor columnist W. Bruce Cameron (@wbrucecameron) takes on the electronic ereader industry with this essay:
Move over, Kindle: Cameron Industries, a mono-national corporation headed by CEO W. Bruce Cameron (no relation), announced today it will soon be marketing the "next generation" of portable readers. Dubbed the "book," Cameron predicts it will take the world by storm.
As described by Cameron, the book will mark major advances in current reader technology. Among them:
Battery life: While some manufacturers boast that their reading machines can have as much as 150 hours of battery life, Cameron claims that the (pat. pend.) "always on" technology used by the book means the battery life is actually longer than human life.
It makes us think of another humorous look at the printed format: the Bio-Optical Organized Knowledge Device (BOOK):
Introducing the new Bio-Optical Organized Knowledge device, trade named B.O.O.K.
BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology; no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.
Here's how it works.
BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKs with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain.
A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.
BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.